Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't Send the Fire Trucks

-So what was all that noise on the phone on Saturday, she asked?
-Yeah, you were shouting at me not to send the fire trucks.  I was hearing all kinds of noise, alarms, shouting...then you hung up on me. it's all coming together. 
The day of the big dinner party, without a working oven (another story for another day).
Making gourmet nut brittle on the stove top without a candy thermometer.
The gooey mess is boiling almost over the top of the pan and the smoke alarm goes off.
Time to turn on the exhaust fan.
More noise.
The alarm continues unabated.
Open a window, but keep stirring the pot.
The phone.
More noise.

And then the dog set up a blood-chilling howl!

Did I mention I don't hear very well?

I was pretty sure I'd heard the phone.

-Hello?  I'm alright.  Don't send fire trucks.  There is no fire.  I'm just making candy.  Hello?  Is there anybody there?  I'm alright.  Don't worry about the alarm.  No trucks, okay?  Hello?

Dinner went well.  Delicious in fact. 
I was the only one who ate any nut brittle and I hadn't even told anyone about almost burning the house down making it.

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