Thursday, October 20, 2011

Golfing Hazards

The rain began speckling my sunglasses. Good. This Duffer could call it a day.  Enough of the Bingo Bango Bongo Mulligans, right?   WRONG. Another nine holes. Another hour and 45 minutes to go. There was just enough time to grab a hot chocolate, sweetened by an obliging bar tender, and a small bag of white cheddar popcorn. My saliva glands are juicing at the memory.

Whoops! The powder-blue designer golf shirt Sis had leant me was now sporting several chocolaty splashes. She was not amused.  As the golfer of the family headed off for another nine humiliations, I retired to the ladies room to repair the damages. Stripped to the waist, slurping alcoholic chocolate milk and scarfing down crunchies, I never noticed that a major portion, over half of my upper left molar, had somehow broken off and been summarily swallowed.  Did this come under the heading of "loose impediments" or "moveable obstructions"?  It was definitely over-par in my book.


I didn't notice the loss until my inquisitive tongue probed the hole, until my gasp let in a rush of cold air, and until the nerve in the dark recesses of my mouth woke up. Then I noticed.

Talk about a Handicap--on the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, across the continent from home, I would be hard-pressed to find a dentist. It went like this, cell phone to cell phone across the golf course:

Sis:   Hello?

Me:   Three things:
I don't know where you are,
I don't know where I am,
I just lost a tooth and I need a dentist right now!

Sis:   I'll call you back. I'm next in the tee box.
Sis is ever about moving briskly along the course, never to be accused of holding people back as she masters her picture-perfect swing.

Me:   No, no, don't hang up. I need a dentist!

Wandering from green to green, dodging bogeys, I stopped a group of strangers. "What hole is this?" The look I received back spoke, "Run! She's totally mad and foaming at the mouth!!"

Five days later, a temporary filling was expertly deployed, to the end that I can wait while my dentist travels leisurely around France and I abstain from popcorn and golfing.

Does your favourite or least favourite sport include hazards to your health and well-being?


(A very small disclaimer: Sis may not totally agree with how she has been portrayed here and may launch legal action. Claim no knowledge of this post.)

11 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh NO! At least you have a temp filling! What a way to spend on the golf course. lol

Unknown said...

I love how you recounted this! Sorry about your tooth!

Pat Tillett said...

When something like that happens, isn't it weird how we always stick our tongue into it or suck in some air to make sure it still hurts?

Sush said...

Yeah, the biggest hazard on the golf course can most often be a relative and sister danger is the worst kind. This is in reference to your disclaimer, bwahahahah!
Hugs~

Monica said...

Oh no, I once had that happen as well. However, I was able to get into my dentist right away. Certainly made me rethink seemingly harmless popcorn!!

Monica

Veronica Lee said...

Sorry about the tooth, Rosemary! Chewing gum does that too and noughat!!

Happy weekending!!

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Sorry about your tooth. I know that had to hurt. I try to stay away from sports. We don't get along :-)

"Cottage By The Sea" said...

At least you got out of playing the back nine! I'd consider that a win. I was once out of State during 4th of July and a filling fell out. My bro-in-law called a friend of his whom is a dentist, and he agreed to see me. As I lay in his chair, at the smell alcohol coming from his breath, he warned me that he'd been at a bar b' que drinking, but he could do this in his sleep. I said, "can you do it when you're drunk?" He said he could and I let him. I didn't have much choice on a holiday weekend. It was temporary and worked out fine but I cringe when I think about it to this day. Thanks for reminding me. (Heheehehehe).

Unknown said...

Haha, oh man, sounds like quite an interesting day! Yea, I can't hang for the full 18, it takes forever just to get through 9!

Unknown said...

What an experience.
Good attitude on your part!

Tami said...

I've only played golf a few times - and I'm horrible. Thank you for the new excuse not to play. "I can't possibly go along, dear, my teeth might break." ;)